So now you know what it looks like to be a recovering love addict, so what happens in your daily life now? How does a “normal” day look for you? Are you considered normal now or do you still have the stigma of a recovering love addict? These questions and more are what this post will be about today and I am more than confident to know that you will enjoy this.
Ever wondered why I named myself a “recovering love addict” versus a “recovered love addict?” Simply put, once you have ever been addicted to anything, the remainder of your life will always be a recovery for you. You never want to be so cocky as to say that you have mastered a certain addiction because this is when you will have a setback. So that’s the explanation of the term “recovering” love addict. When you are recovering from a love addict, as with any addiction, it is a bit difficult in the beginning because you are totally go against any and everything you have ever known before.
So one thing you do as a recovering love addict is stay away from developing new relationships, whether friendship or otherwise, you want to limit your intimate encounters as much as possible until you have developed enough personal strength where you will be able to handle adding a new person/situation to your life. Well I know the next question is ‘when are your considered strong enough?’ and this will differ from person to person so you must learn to be brutally honest with yourself in order to come to this conclusion. One sure sign of developing strength is if you see someone that you would normally latch onto (this is normal behavior for love addicts) and you can refrain from doing so, then you have grown.
What does it mean to latch onto someone? When you become so needy on a person or people that you will do or say anything in order to get them to pay attention to you. Not saying that you cannot have a simple relationship where you just love spending time with people but what I am saying is if you are so needy that you do not allow the other person or people room to breathe. It is easier to say than to actually do, trust me I have been there.
So once you have grown, test yourself. Not too much though. You don’t want to overload yourself and then put yourself into another horrible situation once again. So what you do is take your new found strength for a test drive. Set up a situation where you can be a little more intimate with another person. Whether a friendship or otherwise, see how you react when that other person is in “need” of something. If you find where you are not literally breaking your neck to be there for that other person regardless of their feelings for you, then you are ready to step out a little more.
Let’s just say for sake of argument you find where you are caved in a reverted back to previous behavior, don’t beat yourself up about it because this will only discourage you into staying stuck and not progressing forward. Admit your mistakes and move on. Think of it this way, some will, some won’t, SO WHAT! If you keep this attitude, you will notice that you find more inner strength to be a better you, which is and should be your ultimate goal. So move forward every day. Do a little more. Grow a LOT more. Then once you have this pattern down (usually about 21 days) then REPEAT!
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